April 3, 2013
Victoria Hospital, Prince Albert, Saskatchewan
I am just dozing off when I feel my body lift off the hospital bed. Before I know what’s happening I am pulled into a gray tunnel. The tunnel is turning ever so slowly and the little twinkle lights on the wall of the tunnel illuminate the path for my soul. There is a very bright light at the end of the tunnel. It is warm and I have no desire to look back at where I have come from. I float weightless towards the light. I am at peace. I have the feeling that I have been here before; I feel like I am coming home.
Once I reach the end of the tunnel, the bright loving light fades. My soul is left at the entrance of the tunnel. In the blink of an eye a portrait appears in front of me. It is a portrait I recognized as belonging to my parents, and it is of Jesus. My vision is now directed to some movement in a cloud formation directly to my right. I watch a figure slowly descend from the clouds. (The words amazing grace enter my mind now as I recall this life-altering moment.) I recognize him immediately by the markings on the palms of his hands. He is the one in whom I have placed all my hope. I was taught from childhood that he was my friend and that through him I would be cared for and safe. I have nothing to worry about.
As Jesus reaches out his arms to me, the brilliant white gown he is wearing seems to come alive. His body and garment are now forming a dazzling cross. I want to approach him but I’m being held on the sidelines, a spectator.
I now hear my mother’s voice calling my sister and me in for supper. Her voice is young and happy. Melanie and I race to the house giggling most of the way. I loved those days growing up with my family; life was so carefree back then.
I glance over at Jesus again. His arms are now pointing me in another direction. I hear the sounds of children and adults laughing. I glance down to my right; I’m witnessing a heavenly pool party. There are children, adults and fish swimming at the base of an amazing waterfall. The fish are brilliant in color, these are not colors that I’ve seen here on earth, they have a movement within the color–these colors are alive and breathing. The entire surroundings including the trees and water also seem to be living. The colors of this entire scene are very different, unlike anything I’ve ever witnessed before. They are very pleasing to my sight. There’s iridescence to the color, but not in a bargain store jewelry kind of way–it’s more like looking at a perfectly cut gemstone with the light hitting it exactly where needs to bring it to life.
The colors within this joyous scene contain a nourishing energy that brings a healing to all that reside here; there is no place they’d rather be. I want to join them but within a split second I realize that it’s not my time. I’m also realizing that there are no questions to ask here, because as quickly as the thought of a question comes to my mind, I already have the answer. I have an all-knowing sensation; there are no questions that need answers. I understand everything that is happening around me. My thoughts have never been clearer.
I now notice a movement from the corner of my vision. I look to my left. It’s a butterfly and a few songbirds flying over a grassy meadow. The grass is waving gently in the wind and the little creatures are flitting from flower to flower in hopes of finding a resting spot. A mountain range spanning as far as the eyes can see is a backdrop to this grassy scene. Unlike the waterfall scene to the right, the colors in this mountain and meadow landscape are more monochromatic. They are tones of crimson, brown, copper, beiges and grays. But these colors too seemed to quiver with life. There is literally movement within the color. Describing the colors is nearly impossible; our language doesn’t seem to have the adjectives to explain what I see.
(to be continued)
Ask, listen and be watchful