Branelle turns the television on and makes sure the volume is very low. The voices on the television are more than I can handle. Even the quiet volume is amplified. This extra disturbance is too much of a distraction for my already troubled mind and soul. I lay here a while longer, then ask her to shut the TV off. Branelle realizes that I’m struggling to relax so she suggests some deep breathing exercises. She thinks they might help unwind my tensed up body.
I have been trying to sleep for about an hour and a half now. Through thought I’m talking to the God that I now know exists. I’m begging for some kind of a sign that this will all pass. I need help in putting my mind to rest. I need to know that I’m going to be okay. The only one who truly knows my fate is my Maker. I start going over in my mind all the times I have trusted that God does exist. You would think after being shown all that I have been I could trust fully in the Divine’s plan for me. But once again I’m human and to let go and trust fully is a struggle we all deal with. I know there’s an afterlife. This knowledge should help me right now but this experience has been so over the top. It’s hard for me to grasp it all.
Our family tested….
I keep thinking about Trent and Branelle and how concerned they must be with my emotional, spiritual and physical state. I need a sign that I’m going to survive this holy awakening. It’s getting closer to noon and Branelle heads into the kitchen to warm up some soup for her dad. I keep moving from the couch to the love seat in hopes of getting comfortable enough to doze off. It seems the harder I try; the worse off I become. I think back to other times in my life when I was in a troubling situation. None of them can hold a candle to this. This is so out of the norm that I’m feeling hopeless. There have been troubling times in my life when I have called on our God for help and guidance. Within days an answer to my problem is given. I have never been let down. I ask and faithfully a resolution is shared with me. It may not always be the answer I’m wanting but my request has a response. The reply is always very obvious. There’s no wondering if it’s the answer to my question. I know it immediately. I then give thanks for the sign.
My asking for help today is no different than in the past. I have prayed off the cuff to our Creator our Lord and the Holy Spirit. I have also prayed the rosary to our loving Mother Mary asking for her intercession. She is a mother to all who call on her for help. She will not let anyone down. Asking her for prayers is no different than asking your best friend to pray for you. She loves us as her own. I have also called on my guardian angels and my angel guides. I have done all that I can think of to help come to a resolution. But despair is still creeping into my soul. I know God hears me. I hope I’m not too distraught to recognize the message when it comes. I hope that my next sign will come quickly because all three of us are almost at our wits end. I have been asking for a sign that these visions are from the Holy One. I need to know that they are being sent to me by the Creator. I’m very much aware of the evil force that can creep into our lives and cause havoc. I’m praying to the Creator for protection and guidance.
I’m also thinking of my family’s involvement throughout this ordeal. I’m pretty sure if I’d been married to someone else they may have already taken me back to the hospital, worried about my mental and physical state. I’m so thankful to have Trent and Branelle helping me through this difficulty. They fully believe all that I’m sharing with them. I couldn’t manage this issue on my own. Their support is a god-send.
(To be continued in Excerpt #16)
Ask, Listen and be Watchful,