I can’t seem to stop what’s happening to me. I’m an emotional wreck. I’m wondering when this unfathomable experience will end. I’m tired and wanting to sleep but every time I close my eyes and try to relax another vision comes to me. I’m exhausted; almost running out of tears. Through all this turmoil Trent remains calm.
Trent and I are lying on our backs in bed and he reaches for my hand. He keeps reassuring me that we will get through this; however, I’m not convinced. I try to calm down, but within minutes another vision is shown to me. This time it’s a graveside scene; this vision is in black and white. There are eight family members standing by a white casket that is ready to be lowered to its resting place. Everyone is wearing black; this scene appears to have been from many years ago. I’m guessing around the 1800s. The men are wearing long black coats over their suits with black top hats. The women are wearing full length long gowns. This is a very solemn scene. They are silent as they watch their loved one’s body return to the earth. I’m held by this vision until the casket is fully lowered into the ground. I don’t recognize anyone or the surroundings of this setting. I’m becoming more and more puzzled by all of this.
I open my eyes and begin to cry quietly to myself. What does all this mean? This is not making any sense to me. Why am I being put through this torture? If I’m supposed to die, please just stop my heart; I can’t handle what’s being shown to me. I know for sure that these waking visions are coming from my Creator, but why me? What should they mean to me? Am I going to make it through the night? Or are these steps toward crossing over into the light forever? I need an answer desperately. I feel so lost.
I’m also feeling so sorry for Trent. Years ago as a couple we promised we’d be there for each other, through sickness and health. No matter what the future held. But really, how much more can he handle? I let the tears fall silently onto my pillow.
I share with Trent what has just happened; we are both unsure of my future. We are struggling emotionally and spiritually. Trent and I curl up together again and we try to get comfortable. I’m so thankful I have him with me; I could not go through this alone. He keeps reassuring me that he loves me and he keeps suggesting that I try to fall asleep. He reminds me again that the hospital has released me because all my tests results from today and the previous days were in the normal range.
I fully understand that my physical body is in much better condition than the day Branelle took me into emergency. My problem is the crossing over that happened in the hospital and the visions that I’m still encountering. This is not normal and this is what has me frightened. I’m not frightened for myself because I loved what I witnessed. I know that what I witnessed was my eternal home. I’m just worried for my family. I’m still very young. I want to spend more time with my husband and family. I don’t want them to have to deal with my dead body if I pass away tonight. So I keep talking silently to God, asking for a resolution to this out of body experience. It doesn’t seem to matter how hard I try to relax. I can’t turn my heightened senses off. My senses seem 1,000 times greater than any high definition television. These sensations are wearing me out…
(To be continued in Excerpt #7)
Ask, Listen and be Watchful,