Excerpt #15 – Volcanoes, Butterflies & Jesus – Shelley Zwingli

(Continued from Excerpt #14)

Branelle turns the television on and makes sure the volume is very low. The voices on the television are more than I can handle. Even the quiet volume is amplified. This extra disturbance is too much of a distraction for my already troubled mind and soul. I lay here a while longer, then ask her to shut the TV off. Branelle realizes that I’m struggling to relax so she suggests some deep breathing exercises. She thinks they might help unwind my tensed up body.

Continue reading

Excerpt #9 – Volcanoes, Butterflies & Jesus – Shelley Zwingli

(Continued from Excerpt #8)

I reach under my pillow and find my rosary once more. I start to pray it again in silence. I know Trent needs some sleep, his work day is fast approaching and I have kept him awake for most of the night. I can’t tell him everything that’s happening to me. It’s not fair for me to expect him to understand it all. I don’t understand it. I don’t want to overwhelm him, even though I’m sure I already have. I lay here wondering if I’m going crazy, and just as quickly as that thought enters my mind the angels start to sing again. I now know that I’m not going crazy, this is all so beautiful and holy. I know it comes from our loving God. I’m just struggling with how is it’s possible for me to be in this physical world and also be experiencing the spiritual realm, all at the same time.

Continue reading

Excerpt Post #8 – Volcanoes, Butterflies & Jesus – Shelley Zwingli

(Continued from Excerpt #7)

I have never been so sad and felt so alone. I’m very thankful to have Trent and Branelle helping me through this ordeal but unfortunately they really don’t know what all has been taking place in my body, mind and soul. The truth is, I’m worried that if I share too much information with them they will give up on me. I keep praying for their understanding and wisdom. I need their support and help more than ever.

Continue reading

Excerpt Post #4 – Volcanoes, Butterflies & Jesus – Shelley Zwingli

Excerpt Post #4 – Volcanoes, Butterflies and Jesus – Shelley Zwingli

(Continued from Excerpt Post #3)

I enter our bedroom quietly, trying not to wake Trent. I slowly slip under the covers and try to get comfortable.  As I settle into our bed I keep thinking that maybe I should have stayed in ICU for a few more days. Then again I think, they wouldn’t have discharged me if my vitals weren’t in the normal range. The second the thought normal range comes into my head, I start to panic. It was only five days before that all my tests showed me in the “normal range” with exception of the CT scan, and then I was almost dead. What if that’s the case now? What if the tests done today were also far from accurate?

Blog - Rosary Photo All I can do right now is try to fall asleep. My body is screaming for rest. One of the best ways for me to relax and calm down in the past has been to meditate and pray.  I slide my hand under my pillow to find my rosary. I have slept with a rosary under my pillow for many years now. I feel very safe and protected when it’s near. Praying the rosary is like putting the calm in my storm. Nothing else can ease a stress-filled day like the prayer of the rosary.

I’m lying on my back, still very agitated. The room seems darker than it’s ever been. I’m trying to lay still; I don’t want to disturb Trent. I lay here for about five minutes and I’m finding it difficult to close my eyes. I don’t like how dark the night is right now. I’m also noticing that my heightened state of awareness is preventing me from relaxing. I feel that Trent and I are not alone. There’s an unknown spiritual force in the room. I feel like there’s a battle going on inside me. I have never encountered this type of nervousness before.

I gently touch Trent’s shoulder to get his attention. I tell him that I’m having problems getting to sleep. I ask if it’s okay for me to turn on the bedside lamp for a while. He doesn’t mind at all. I’m hoping that the light in the room will help me relax and send away any negative energy that might be here.   I explain to Trent that I’m very scared that I still might be dying. I also tell him that my body is feeling very different since my NDE. I can’t seem to shut off my thoughts. I feel very wound up. I’m almost certain I won’t make it through the night. Death seems to be the answer to my dilemma.

Trent snuggles up to my body and once again I try to fall asleep. Within seconds of me relaxing and closing my eyes I start to hear singing. This singing is unlike anything I have ever heard here on Earth. It is the heavenly choir and they’re performing a heavenly chant beyond our human perfection. The music sounds like something written in a previous century. It reminds me of something Beethoven, Bach or Chopin might have written. It’s extremely classical but not snobbish, very welcoming and loving in nature. Both of our children have taken years of piano and theory exams. This music reminds me of something they might have played while growing up. However, this music has instruments in its orchestra that we don’t have here on earth. They are singing a very calming piece. This melody is perfectly timed and tuned; there is no room for improvement. The composer of this piece has every aspect of music mastered. It is overwhelmingly refined and fascinating to listen to. I know that this music is being performed by the heavenly choir.

I sit up quickly in hopes of stopping the music; I fear that my soul might be slipping away from Earth again. I ask Trent if he’s just heard the angels singing and he says he hasn’t. I start to cry. I’m so afraid to leave my family behind. I’m not worried about where my soul will end up because I now know that heaven does exist and it’s waiting for me.  I just never dreamt that heaven and earth were so close together, and that I could experience both of them at the same time.

(To be continued – Excerpt Post #5)

Ask, Listen and be Watchful

Shelley Transparent Signature

 

 

 

A Brief Chat with Jesus (Part II): Guest Post

Good-Friday-crosses-1(Continued from Part I)

Shelley’s Intro: A recurring dream on Good Friday annually for three years has kept Suzanne Paschall searching for its truest meaning for 15 years since…

 

Unanswered questions

First, Why do I have this dream over and over? Second, why on Good Friday, the commemoration of Jesus’ death by crucifixion on the cross?
Next, is there any symbolism in the setting – the rocky path, the cliff on one side and meadow on the other, the weather? In good fiction, these are primary storytelling elements that can serve as metaphors, foreshadowing events to come, or setting a mood or tone to heighten the scene’s meaning.
Then, why does he brush my hand away, and why does he seem to show little if any emotion? The archetype of Jesus in my memory was always presented as a good, kindly figure. This Jesus was not only not kind, but a bit stand-offish.
Also, he was clearly (to me) Jesus, and not an angel, so why did his actions and speech seem to indicate that he was an angel?
And then finally, the most intriguing question: What the heck is the meaning of the one and only statement he makes to me in this dream? “You cannot discern the lips of an angel.”
Over the years, on the occasions it would re-surface in my memory, I’ve played the game of trying to change the emphasis on different words of the sentence to see if a meaning that made sense might shake out of an altered reading.
You cannot discern the lips of an angel,” for instance, meant to me that there was something wrong with me, some obstruction in my head or heart, that was keeping me from recognizing him as who he was? Was this about my lapse of faith?
But, “you cannot discern the lips of an angel,” might read as a chastisement; or an enlightenment about the nature of angels; that they are un-discernible, so there is no point in trying to do so (by reaching out Angels & Jesusto touch them).
“You cannot discern the lips of an angel” is a most fascinating read, and could be a piece all on its own…spiritual discernment, as it turns out, is a big deal to God.
And discerning angels is actually a thing, as I learned once when I put the actual phrase Jesus spoke into Google’s search engine to see what would transpire.
In short, spiritual discernment is about a person’s ability to see the difference between truth and error; right and wrong, good and evil, ultimately, Satan and God.

Now it makes sense…?

So, wow again. With this reading I can easily go down the rabbit hole of my own co-dependency, and my resulting lack of clarity and ability to make decisions; never knowing the right or wrong answer. That could be why I couldn’t relate to any meaning for me at the time; I was in a big denial state about my situation. But now, in recovery, it actually makes a great deal of sense.
Reconnecting with God for me is in its early stages, but powerful things have already happened. My ability to “discern” is growing; I can feel it. I’m still a novice, and old habits die hard, but I’m also becoming more aware every day.
And, to be honest, I’ve stayed stuck at the word discernment in the sentence, so haven’t even made it to putting the emphasis on lips or angel yet. I’m still working on it. One day at a time. When Shelley asked me if I’d be willing to share this story for this Good Friday season, I hesitated, and then agreed. Mostly because she is such a dear person and I trust her, but also because maybe, just maybe, the answer isn’t inside me after all, but is out there somewhere…with one of you. Or maybe one of you is meant to consider your own ability to discern from reading this post.
Blessings for this Lenten season, and especially for a prayerful, thoughtful Good Friday filled with gratitude, and a glorious Easter Sunday of praise, hope and love.
I’ve always liked Socrates’ assertion that “the unexamined life is not worth living.” And this dream series event bears examining. If only because it still won’t leave me, years after its actual occurrence.

Ask, and you shall receive,
Suzanne's Signature Trans

A Brief Chat with Jesus (Part I): Guest Post


Intro from Shelley:
Part of our journey while we’re here on Earth is to be of service to others. At some point in our lives a profound spiritual awakening may take place. There’s a story in each one of us that has us opening up to the possibility of a Greater Power’s existence.

Suzanne Paschall, my editor/publisher and author of The Pink Notebook Project, recently shared with me a life altering, soul awakening event, and I asked her if she would put pen to paper to also share the story with you. The next two blog postings will help us open up to the beautiful reality of how God works. The Creator lovingly sends signs to us in our darkest moments. We are being guided and encouraged to stay on the path of life which will give us the most soulful growth.

I would like to thank Suzanne for sharing her Divine experience, A Brief Chat with Jesus. I know these posts will open up a much-needed connection for some of my readers.  I also want to invite you to share a piece of your story. You can do so through the Your Stories tab on my website.  It is through sharing parts of our life’s journey we aid in healing ourselves and each other. We are all here to grow in love and compassion. We are all teacher and student in this miraculous incarnation.

Ask, Listen and be Watchful,

Shelley

A Brief Chat with Jesus  (Part I) 

LucidDreamingI’ve always been a dreamer. I mean that literally. I’m what’s referred to in dream literature as a recaller, meaning I often remember quite a lot of detail about many dreams, long after I have them. Over the years I’ve collected books on dream research, and at one point in my life tried to practice lucid dreaming.

My dreams have been prescient (foretelling); recurring or, as I now understand, direct connections with other figures, like what I believe happened to  me when I had the same dream every Good Friday night for three years in a row.

My relationship with God, or my Higher Power, has been nebulous all my life. Though I was raised in the Lutheran faith, with the support of a fine preacher who shepherded me through Catechism, I fell away from the Church later in life for some very specific reasons. Over time, I felt like the only “higher power” I could rely on was me, and wow, I worked that martyrdom hard for a few decades.

I don’t recall what exactly was happening in my life when the recurring Jesus dream started some 15 years ago, or when it stopped recurring a few years later. But the details of it have never left me, and have left me with unanswered questions.

The dream

The dream begins with me walking on a narrow dirt path that winds along the edge of a very high cliff. Beyond the cliff to my right I can see a massive expanse of ocean. The horizon is dark and changing, a storm is brewing. But I don’t feel any sense of temperature, of cold or heat. I know I am dreaming. I don’t feel any emotions, except a little curiosity as I advance slowly on this path, taking care not to trip on the occasional stones that appear in the path.
To the left of the path is a wide thatch of wild meadow. The growth is patchy and scraggly; it’s not a tended crop field; nor a garden. The area seems deserted, and there is a forest off in the extreme distance left and forward.
I feel the wind pick up, freshen off the ocean, and now I do feel temperature—a tinge of cool, moist air—as I approach a bend in the path that slowly rises up. I round the corner, and my tread become uncontrollably leaden. It’s as if I’m being compelled by some greater force to slow my steps. I climb up the rise and a figure slowly comes into view.
It’s a man sitting quietly on a rock on a small plateau at the cliff’s edge. There are numerous boulder-like stones strewn at this spot. The man is sitting calmly, clearly waiting for someone to approach. I assume it’s me, because I’m the only other person here. I approach him very slowly, and more details come into view. He’s wearing a long white robe, with a rope belt tied casually at his side. He has long brown wavy hair. His hands are in his lap. He’s facing away from the ocean, looking directly at me. He is neither smiling nor scowling. His face is completely passive, expressionless, except for his brown eyes that look blandly at me. He is otherwise as motionless as a statue.
He doesn’t speak, but seems to be waiting for me to ask a question. I don’t know how I know this, but I do. However, I have no idea what is the question I’m supposed to ask.
I stop in front of him, perhaps a foot away. We look at each other. For some reason, I reach out with my hand to touch his lips. (I have no idea why I do this.) His reaction is strange, and becomes the first of my questions that I have after the dream. He moves his hand up quickly to push my hand away. His face doesn’t change, but it clearly appears to be a gesture of rebuff.
I feel confusion bloom on my face, but I can’t speak. Then he does, and he says, quite clearly but without emotion, “You cannot discern the lips of an angel.”

It reverberates inside me, repeating and repeating. I continue to look at him. I glance over at the ocean, at the approaching weather, and wonder why I’m here, and what I’m supposed to be learning. I feel quite strongly that he is Jesus, and that this is a lesson. That I’ve been brought to this precipice for a reason, and that unlike a dream, this appears to be a direct communication with this figure, executed through a sleep-state. Again, I don’t know how I know this, but I most emphatically do. I have years and years of attentive dream experience to compare this to, and this encounter stands unique.

This is where the dream-state experience ends, and I wake up. I then experience this again on the next Good Friday and I have this dream for several years—on this night and only on this night.
I never forget it, it never changes…and I never figure out the central questions that stay with me to this day.

(Continued in Part II – Unanswered Questions)

Om – I Will Hold You

May 2013 – The Zwingli Farm

Proof Of HeavenI placed the book down on the counter in front of me and I let the tears fall. Brennon, our son, has been  home visiting for a couple days. He walks over, gives me a kiss on the cheek and gently rubs my back. My emotions have been like a roller coaster for the past month. I’m still struggling with what I’ve been shown and I’m so glad my family is supporting me through this life-altering experience. I’m feeling absolutely overwhelmed and I’m searching for the answers to where I was, what it all means and what I should be doing with what I’ve learned.

I have just had an aha moment linked to a book I started reading a couple days ago. The book is called Proof of Heaven written by Eben Alexander, M.D. The near death experience (NDE) I had has me reaching for all kinds of resources to read about the afterlife as I try to figure out what exactly happened to me.  In Proof of Heaven, the author mentions the term “Om” in place of the name God or Creator. This word alone has hit me like a ton of bricks.

Ever since I’ve crossed over I’ve been experiencing a strange but beautiful sensation while falling asleep at night. Just before my body becomes totally relaxed, and even before I’m sound asleep, I feel myself gently lift off the bed and a soft rocking motion begins. It’s at this stage of relaxation/sleep that I speak out loud the word “Om.” I don’t remember anything that happens after I have said this. I wake the next morning after having an amazing sleep and I’m somewhat puzzled as to why I keep saying “Om.”  Why am I saying this word on the cusp of sleep?

I have heard the word referred to during yoga sessions. I do realize that it’s a mantra that helps people connect to their inner loving source during meditation. I’m just not sure why it’s coming out of my mouth just as I fall into the unconscious state of sleep. This has been happening every night for the past month. I asked my husband, Trent, if he hears me say something just before I fall asleep. He says he does, but he’s just not sure of the word that I’m saying. He says that I’m saying it very quietly and he can’t make it out. I, however, do know the word I’m speaking and before reading Eben Alexander’s explanation I was unsure of what it could mean to me.

I glance down at the book and realize that Eben has just explained another meaning of this word to me, and I’m blown away. Tears continue to run down my cheek because the explanation is almost more than I can grasp. I now realize that I’m softly calling our Creator’s name as I’m falling asleep. I realize how beautiful it is that my soul, just at the onset of sleep, is acknowledging its maker. My soul is very much aware of what I’m doing but my physical body doesn’t have a clue why this is occurring.

Blog - Heavenly HandI think back to the previous night when I whispered Om ; at the time I was hardly conscience enough to realize it. I also understand now that the rocking motion that I’m feeling as I drift off to sleep is Om holding me. I think back to a spiritual picture my parents had hanging in their home. The following verse was inscribed over Gods hands in this picture: “I will hold you in the palm of my hands.” I now know beyond a shadow of a doubt – this is what I’ve been experiencing. An absolute peace comes over me and I wipe my tears away.

This is the first time Brennon has seen me since my surgery. He’s home for a weeklong visit. Trent and I love the time he spends with us. Over the course of a week he has listened to the entire NDE, and I have explained to him everything that has happened to me. It’s been a real eye opener for all of us.

I know over the course of the next few weeks, months and years Om will continue to share the secrets of the universe with me. I have been crying tears of joy for the past few weeks; I’ve been given the chance to learn more about this life we’re living. I’m more than grateful for this favourable outcome.

I still have the opportunity to hold my babies and sleep beside my husband. I do also realize that when their time comes and they are called home, they will be held in the palm of Om’s hands, and the spirits on the other side will welcome their arrival with unconditional love. We need to find solace in knowing that as we mourn the loss of a loved one on earth, heaven and all the angels will be cheering on their arrival.

Ask, listen and be watchful,

Shelley Transparent Signature