Excerpt Post #5 – Volcanoes, Butterflies & Jesus – Shelley Zwingli

Excerpt Post #5 – Volcanoes, Butterflies & Jesus – Shelley Zwingli

(Continued from Excerpt Post #4)

Awake and fully aware

 

Hearing the heavenly choir has sent my physical mind into despair. At the same time my spiritual soul is connecting to a loving power that is trying to calm all my fears. In this very moment I am of sound mind and I’m consciously aware of all my surroundings. I am fully awake. The only medication that I’ve been on for the past few days is an anti-biotic. I’m absolutely sure it doesn’t have these side effects. I’m physically alive but also experiencing the heavenly realm. The only way I can deal with this battle that is raging within me is to pray. I know that I must ask for help from God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. I need to ask for God’s will to be done. I need to put my will aside. Whatever happens to me now is all a part of God’s divine plan for me.

The Nativity by Federigo Barocci

The Nativity – Federigo Barocci

I will also turn to our heavenly mother, the Queen of Heaven. Mary is the true mother of us all; she knows our pain. She watched her son Jesus, the Son and Savior of mankind, hang and die on the cross. What a heart break for a mother to witness. She is the purest of pure and God holds her in very high regard.  I will ask Mother Mary to intercede and pray for me as well. I will pray the rosary and plead for guidance and wisdom from our Heavenly Father. The Creator  had chosen Mary many years ago to deliver our Saviour to the world. God knew she was a faithful servant. I now need her prayers to help me through this struggle.

Trent and I are lying side by side in bed holding hands. We pray the rosary together. We pray for my healing and for me to be allowed to stay here on Earth a while longer. I’m extremely distraught and I know that Trent is very worried about what all has been taking place. When we finish the rosary he snuggles up to me and I try once again to settle down.

 

The waking visions start…

1:30 AM, Thursday, April 4, 2013

I glance at the clock it’s now 1:30 AM. I have been in bed for about three hours and have not been able to sleep. I’m still very worried about what will happen to my family if I should pass. We are all dying—every day we are one day closer to our earthly death. This reality doesn’t seem to bother us on a daily basis until an incident brings our mortality to the forefront.  I’m facing this reality right now; I can hardly deal with this certainty. How can I be here in this physical form and be hearing heavenly music?  This almost seems impossible.

Young Boy Vision

I try to sleep again and before I know what’s happening to me a vision enters my mind. This vision is much different than my NDE while in ICU at the Victoria Hospital. I was sleeping during my NDE; this new vision has appeared in my mind while I’m still awake.Blog - Young Boy (a) My eyes are closed but my mind has been opened to see a picture. It’s similar to a dream but much clearer, plus its happening while I’m fully awake. In my mind I’m being shown a picture of an eight to 10-year-old boy. He’s smiling a bright, beautiful smile. He has big eyes and chin length blonde curly hair. He is surrounded by friends in the picture. The focus is on him and this whole scene is in color. He looks familiar to me but I’m not sure who he is.

Once again I wake Trent and explain to him what has just happened. I feel horrible waking him but I’m becoming more and more distraught. I can’t seem to stop what’s happening to me. I’m an emotional wreck. I’m wondering when this unfathomable experience will end. I’m tired and wanting to sleep but every time I close my eyes and try to relax the spiritual realm makes another connection with me. I’m exhausted; almost running out of tears. Through all this turmoil Trent remains calm.

(Continued in Excerpt Post #6)

Ask, Listen and be Watchful,

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Excerpt Post #4 – Volcanoes, Butterflies & Jesus – Shelley Zwingli

Excerpt Post #4 – Volcanoes, Butterflies and Jesus – Shelley Zwingli

(Continued from Excerpt Post #3)

I enter our bedroom quietly, trying not to wake Trent. I slowly slip under the covers and try to get comfortable.  As I settle into our bed I keep thinking that maybe I should have stayed in ICU for a few more days. Then again I think, they wouldn’t have discharged me if my vitals weren’t in the normal range. The second the thought normal range comes into my head, I start to panic. It was only five days before that all my tests showed me in the “normal range” with exception of the CT scan, and then I was almost dead. What if that’s the case now? What if the tests done today were also far from accurate?

Blog - Rosary Photo All I can do right now is try to fall asleep. My body is screaming for rest. One of the best ways for me to relax and calm down in the past has been to meditate and pray.  I slide my hand under my pillow to find my rosary. I have slept with a rosary under my pillow for many years now. I feel very safe and protected when it’s near. Praying the rosary is like putting the calm in my storm. Nothing else can ease a stress-filled day like the prayer of the rosary.

I’m lying on my back, still very agitated. The room seems darker than it’s ever been. I’m trying to lay still; I don’t want to disturb Trent. I lay here for about five minutes and I’m finding it difficult to close my eyes. I don’t like how dark the night is right now. I’m also noticing that my heightened state of awareness is preventing me from relaxing. I feel that Trent and I are not alone. There’s an unknown spiritual force in the room. I feel like there’s a battle going on inside me. I have never encountered this type of nervousness before.

I gently touch Trent’s shoulder to get his attention. I tell him that I’m having problems getting to sleep. I ask if it’s okay for me to turn on the bedside lamp for a while. He doesn’t mind at all. I’m hoping that the light in the room will help me relax and send away any negative energy that might be here.   I explain to Trent that I’m very scared that I still might be dying. I also tell him that my body is feeling very different since my NDE. I can’t seem to shut off my thoughts. I feel very wound up. I’m almost certain I won’t make it through the night. Death seems to be the answer to my dilemma.

Trent snuggles up to my body and once again I try to fall asleep. Within seconds of me relaxing and closing my eyes I start to hear singing. This singing is unlike anything I have ever heard here on Earth. It is the heavenly choir and they’re performing a heavenly chant beyond our human perfection. The music sounds like something written in a previous century. It reminds me of something Beethoven, Bach or Chopin might have written. It’s extremely classical but not snobbish, very welcoming and loving in nature. Both of our children have taken years of piano and theory exams. This music reminds me of something they might have played while growing up. However, this music has instruments in its orchestra that we don’t have here on earth. They are singing a very calming piece. This melody is perfectly timed and tuned; there is no room for improvement. The composer of this piece has every aspect of music mastered. It is overwhelmingly refined and fascinating to listen to. I know that this music is being performed by the heavenly choir.

I sit up quickly in hopes of stopping the music; I fear that my soul might be slipping away from Earth again. I ask Trent if he’s just heard the angels singing and he says he hasn’t. I start to cry. I’m so afraid to leave my family behind. I’m not worried about where my soul will end up because I now know that heaven does exist and it’s waiting for me.  I just never dreamt that heaven and earth were so close together, and that I could experience both of them at the same time.

(To be continued – Excerpt Post #5)

Ask, Listen and be Watchful

Shelley Transparent Signature