Excerpt Post #2 : Volcanoes, Butterflies & Jesus – Shelley Zwingli

Excerpt Post #2 : Volcanoes, Butterflies & Jesus – Shelley Zwingli

(Continued from Excerpt Post #1)

7:15 PM, Wednesday, April 3, 2013, Zwingli Farm, Melfort, Saskatchewan

I enter the house on the lower level and Trent greets me at the base of the first set of stairs in the basement. He gives me a warm kiss and hug. I share with him my concerns; he knows that I’m not the same person I was before my surgery. My whole being has shifted. I’m very worried about my future:  Will I still be here tomorrow, or will I be in heaven?

Once again I share with Trent how my spirit left my body. My crossing over into heaven was an incredibly beautiful event. I wouldn’t trade what I have seen for anything on this planet. Trent and I hold each other and cry together. We realize just how fast our lives can change. I’m so thankful for his understanding. Many men would have thought I’d lost my mind, but Trent knows me better than that. Through the tears and the soft tone in my voice he knows my heavenly trip was exactly as I describe it, a life altering encounter with our loving Creator.

Back home, but not like it was before

Trent and I are a couple with similar spiritual beliefs and we know that trust is the foundation of our relationship. We are certain of each other’s credibility beyond a shadow of a doubt. He knows that I’m an honest person, and what I have experienced is as real as him standing right in front of me. I will always see him as trustworthy and rational. He knows to never doubt me in a critical situation, as I will only speak the truth.

Trent and I make our way upstairs to the kitchen. Earlier that day Branelle had made a fresh pot of homemade chicken soup. The three of us sit down in the dining room and enjoy our meal together. Nothing beats homemade cooking when you’re sick, and no one can make a pot of soup like our daughter Branelle. This is exactly what I have been craving for the last couple days.

It feels great to be back home. The three of us visit for a while after supper but as we discuss the weekly events both in and out of the hospital. I’m finding it very difficult to stay focused on the conversation. My mind keeps taking me back to what I had witnessed just a few hours ago. I’m finding it very hard to concentrate on anything other than that divine experience.

I keep pulling my thoughts back to their dialogue but I just can’t seem to hold my attention firmly on their discussion. I have never been so agitated in my life. I keep wondering, how long will this sensation last? It’s incredibly challenging to act normal when deep down inside I know that I’m teetering between life and death.

I get up from the dining table and ask Branelle if she would stay in the bathroom with me while I take a shower. I really don’t need any assistance once I’m in the shower but I don’t feel comfortable being in the bathroom by myself.  In the course of the past week I have lost 12 pounds, I’m very weak and worried that I could slip and fall in the shower. I would love to have a bath but that to presents a problem; there is no way that I could get myself in and out of the tub without the help of a couple of people.  The shower seems like the safest bet. I will feel safe knowing Branelle is right there, just in case I need her.

I’m still noticing that something has shifted in my physical and spiritual realm. It’s as though an awareness and clarity has opened up my vision to see physical objects totally different.  My physical body is looking and feeling very mortal. I visually see the brokenness in my physical self. It’s as if I’m looking at my body for the first time and really noticing every detail that it holds with extreme definition.  I have never noticed all the wrinkles on my hands before; my hands look very leathery and old. I’m shocked at how dark my freckles seem to be, they are jumping right out at me. I’m sure they’ve never looked like this in the past. Visibly to me my body has aged about 30 years in the past seven days.  I feel as if I’m standing outside my body and that a part of my being has become a bystander. At this very moment I’m realizing my spiritual consciousness has been opened. My perception of the physical world has been altered and I’m not sure how to return to my normal state of reality.

This is a very beautiful awareness that I’m experiencing, but because it’s so far away from the normal state of consciousness it’s also extremely frightening. I keep hoping and praying that this will all settle down soon.

(Continued in Excerpt #3)

Ask, Listen and be Watchful

Shelley Transparent Signature

Excerpt Post #1: Volcanoes, Butterflies & Jesus – Shelley Zwingli

4:00 PM, Wednesday, April 3, 2013 – Victoria Hospital, Prince Albert, Saskatchewan

Branelle and I wait patiently for some news on my discharge.Blog Pic Excerpt VB&J I share with her what had happened to me earlier that afternoon. The near death experience has shaken me up. The reality of what I saw has her concerned, too. Branelle knows that I would only speak the truth. I want to go home more than ever now, because if I’m still dying I don’t want to die in the hospital. I can’t share the near death experience with the staff because I believe they will never discharge me after hearing about my experience. They may even think that I’m mentally unstable, which I know I’m not.

5:30 PM

The doctor walks into my room. He and the head nurse have decided to let me go home. He makes me promise that I will consume 2000 calories daily until my weight is back to normal. I want to go home to heal, so I give him my word. I thank him for all that he has done for me; he wishes me a speedy recovery. I hold back the tears as he walks out of the room. He’s an amazing doctor. I owe my life to him and his colleagues.

I call Trent to share my good news; he had just been leaving our house to head to Prince Albert to stay with me. Over the next 30 minutes Branelle and I gather up my belongings and pick up an antibiotic from the pharmacy and then we are homeward bound. What a great feeling! I’m silently hoping with any luck a good night’s sleep will help restore my body to its normal state.

Ever since I crossed over I’ve noticed my senses have been heightened. Upon leaving the hospital and going outside, this is even more noticeable. My sight has never been so clear, colors are extremely vibrant and objects are more defined than before my NDE. I almost feel as though I’ve had corrective eye surgery. This change in vision has me somewhat concerned about my future–my heightened awareness has me very nervous.  My hearing has also changed; all noises seem to be intensely loud. On a scale from 1-10, with 1 being quiet and 10 being extremely loud, my scale has increased by about five points. This audible heightening is not enjoyable, I feel as though the people around me are almost yelling when they talk. I find myself turning down the volume on the car radio, even though Branelle says it’s not at all loud.

We are halfway home when our trip is interrupted by a phone call. Brennon has called me from Costa Rica and it‘s great to hear his voice. I share with him a very short version of my NDE, and tell him that I’ll share more detail with him when he returns from his holiday. I don’t want to alarm him.

Branelle now makes the final turn off the highway onto our gravel road. We are getting closer to home and I’m hoping that my release from the hospital was the right decision. I don’t want to discuss with her how I’m feeling. This heightened state of awareness has me panicking inwardly. I keep my thoughts to myself; I don’t want to cause her any extra stress.

Blog Picture - Crisp PrairieAs we head north down our country road I glance across the prairie landscape and wherever my eyes travel I get a very defined image. I’m witnessing a country scene that I’ve never really noticed before. I have lived down this country road for almost 30 years and today the hills, trees, and farmyards have more detail than I remember. In every direction I look I see things that I’ve missed in the past. I’m also noticing my entire body feels different. I feel as though a part of my body is missing, but in a good way– somewhat carefree, I have a floating sensation. I know that my body is still physically alive and grounded in this car seat but the rest of my being, along with my senses, seems to be weightless. The colors and scenery that I’m noticing are much more appealing than ever before. I’m enjoying the crisp hues that clothe this early spring landscape.

Once again I reach over and turn down the radio; I don’t want my thoughts to have to compete with this unnecessary noise. My body is wound up and it’s craving silence at this very moment. I think back to the experience that just happened a few hours ago. I begin to silently pray to God for some help and understanding. I’m pleading for a little more time here on Earth. As Branelle and I pull the car into our yard a thought enters my mind:  Will I live through the night, or will God take me home? I know perfectly well that my body is not in a fully recovered state, and with my senses all on high alert I’m struggling to make sense of this mystifying body-soul experience. I know without a doubt that my soul has just returned from heaven and even though I have loved what I was shown I’m still very fearful of leaving my family behind if I am to pass away in the next few days.

(Continued in Excerpt Post #2)

Ask, Listen and be Watchful

Shelley Transparent Signature