Excerpt Post #2 : Volcanoes, Butterflies & Jesus – Shelley Zwingli

Excerpt Post #2 : Volcanoes, Butterflies & Jesus – Shelley Zwingli

(Continued from Excerpt Post #1)

7:15 PM, Wednesday, April 3, 2013, Zwingli Farm, Melfort, Saskatchewan

I enter the house on the lower level and Trent greets me at the base of the first set of stairs in the basement. He gives me a warm kiss and hug. I share with him my concerns; he knows that I’m not the same person I was before my surgery. My whole being has shifted. I’m very worried about my future:  Will I still be here tomorrow, or will I be in heaven?

Once again I share with Trent how my spirit left my body. My crossing over into heaven was an incredibly beautiful event. I wouldn’t trade what I have seen for anything on this planet. Trent and I hold each other and cry together. We realize just how fast our lives can change. I’m so thankful for his understanding. Many men would have thought I’d lost my mind, but Trent knows me better than that. Through the tears and the soft tone in my voice he knows my heavenly trip was exactly as I describe it, a life altering encounter with our loving Creator.

Back home, but not like it was before

Trent and I are a couple with similar spiritual beliefs and we know that trust is the foundation of our relationship. We are certain of each other’s credibility beyond a shadow of a doubt. He knows that I’m an honest person, and what I have experienced is as real as him standing right in front of me. I will always see him as trustworthy and rational. He knows to never doubt me in a critical situation, as I will only speak the truth.

Trent and I make our way upstairs to the kitchen. Earlier that day Branelle had made a fresh pot of homemade chicken soup. The three of us sit down in the dining room and enjoy our meal together. Nothing beats homemade cooking when you’re sick, and no one can make a pot of soup like our daughter Branelle. This is exactly what I have been craving for the last couple days.

It feels great to be back home. The three of us visit for a while after supper but as we discuss the weekly events both in and out of the hospital. I’m finding it very difficult to stay focused on the conversation. My mind keeps taking me back to what I had witnessed just a few hours ago. I’m finding it very hard to concentrate on anything other than that divine experience.

I keep pulling my thoughts back to their dialogue but I just can’t seem to hold my attention firmly on their discussion. I have never been so agitated in my life. I keep wondering, how long will this sensation last? It’s incredibly challenging to act normal when deep down inside I know that I’m teetering between life and death.

I get up from the dining table and ask Branelle if she would stay in the bathroom with me while I take a shower. I really don’t need any assistance once I’m in the shower but I don’t feel comfortable being in the bathroom by myself.  In the course of the past week I have lost 12 pounds, I’m very weak and worried that I could slip and fall in the shower. I would love to have a bath but that to presents a problem; there is no way that I could get myself in and out of the tub without the help of a couple of people.  The shower seems like the safest bet. I will feel safe knowing Branelle is right there, just in case I need her.

I’m still noticing that something has shifted in my physical and spiritual realm. It’s as though an awareness and clarity has opened up my vision to see physical objects totally different.  My physical body is looking and feeling very mortal. I visually see the brokenness in my physical self. It’s as if I’m looking at my body for the first time and really noticing every detail that it holds with extreme definition.  I have never noticed all the wrinkles on my hands before; my hands look very leathery and old. I’m shocked at how dark my freckles seem to be, they are jumping right out at me. I’m sure they’ve never looked like this in the past. Visibly to me my body has aged about 30 years in the past seven days.  I feel as if I’m standing outside my body and that a part of my being has become a bystander. At this very moment I’m realizing my spiritual consciousness has been opened. My perception of the physical world has been altered and I’m not sure how to return to my normal state of reality.

This is a very beautiful awareness that I’m experiencing, but because it’s so far away from the normal state of consciousness it’s also extremely frightening. I keep hoping and praying that this will all settle down soon.

(Continued in Excerpt #3)

Ask, Listen and be Watchful

Shelley Transparent Signature

Om – I Will Hold You

May 2013 – The Zwingli Farm

Proof Of HeavenI placed the book down on the counter in front of me and I let the tears fall. Brennon, our son, has been  home visiting for a couple days. He walks over, gives me a kiss on the cheek and gently rubs my back. My emotions have been like a roller coaster for the past month. I’m still struggling with what I’ve been shown and I’m so glad my family is supporting me through this life-altering experience. I’m feeling absolutely overwhelmed and I’m searching for the answers to where I was, what it all means and what I should be doing with what I’ve learned.

I have just had an aha moment linked to a book I started reading a couple days ago. The book is called Proof of Heaven written by Eben Alexander, M.D. The near death experience (NDE) I had has me reaching for all kinds of resources to read about the afterlife as I try to figure out what exactly happened to me.  In Proof of Heaven, the author mentions the term “Om” in place of the name God or Creator. This word alone has hit me like a ton of bricks.

Ever since I’ve crossed over I’ve been experiencing a strange but beautiful sensation while falling asleep at night. Just before my body becomes totally relaxed, and even before I’m sound asleep, I feel myself gently lift off the bed and a soft rocking motion begins. It’s at this stage of relaxation/sleep that I speak out loud the word “Om.” I don’t remember anything that happens after I have said this. I wake the next morning after having an amazing sleep and I’m somewhat puzzled as to why I keep saying “Om.”  Why am I saying this word on the cusp of sleep?

I have heard the word referred to during yoga sessions. I do realize that it’s a mantra that helps people connect to their inner loving source during meditation. I’m just not sure why it’s coming out of my mouth just as I fall into the unconscious state of sleep. This has been happening every night for the past month. I asked my husband, Trent, if he hears me say something just before I fall asleep. He says he does, but he’s just not sure of the word that I’m saying. He says that I’m saying it very quietly and he can’t make it out. I, however, do know the word I’m speaking and before reading Eben Alexander’s explanation I was unsure of what it could mean to me.

I glance down at the book and realize that Eben has just explained another meaning of this word to me, and I’m blown away. Tears continue to run down my cheek because the explanation is almost more than I can grasp. I now realize that I’m softly calling our Creator’s name as I’m falling asleep. I realize how beautiful it is that my soul, just at the onset of sleep, is acknowledging its maker. My soul is very much aware of what I’m doing but my physical body doesn’t have a clue why this is occurring.

Blog - Heavenly HandI think back to the previous night when I whispered Om ; at the time I was hardly conscience enough to realize it. I also understand now that the rocking motion that I’m feeling as I drift off to sleep is Om holding me. I think back to a spiritual picture my parents had hanging in their home. The following verse was inscribed over Gods hands in this picture: “I will hold you in the palm of my hands.” I now know beyond a shadow of a doubt – this is what I’ve been experiencing. An absolute peace comes over me and I wipe my tears away.

This is the first time Brennon has seen me since my surgery. He’s home for a weeklong visit. Trent and I love the time he spends with us. Over the course of a week he has listened to the entire NDE, and I have explained to him everything that has happened to me. It’s been a real eye opener for all of us.

I know over the course of the next few weeks, months and years Om will continue to share the secrets of the universe with me. I have been crying tears of joy for the past few weeks; I’ve been given the chance to learn more about this life we’re living. I’m more than grateful for this favourable outcome.

I still have the opportunity to hold my babies and sleep beside my husband. I do also realize that when their time comes and they are called home, they will be held in the palm of Om’s hands, and the spirits on the other side will welcome their arrival with unconditional love. We need to find solace in knowing that as we mourn the loss of a loved one on earth, heaven and all the angels will be cheering on their arrival.

Ask, listen and be watchful,

Shelley Transparent Signature