African Lady Vision
I close my eyes again and within seconds another vision opens up in my mind. These visions are like movie clips. Some of them are in color and others are in black and white. This vision starts with a middle-aged woman standing in front of me; she has dark skin. She is possibly of African descent. She has a cream colored linen scarf wrapped tightly around her head; she’s also wearing a long cream colored linen gown. In her arms she’s holding a new-born baby. The baby is wrapped up tight in a blanket. She is a very good woman, her beautiful smile is contagious. She hands me the baby. I’m feeling extremely happy to be receiving this baby. Right at this moment I feel this baby has a connection to me. However, I don’t recognize the woman. Even though this scene is very uplifting, I need it to stop. I’m trying to settle my mind but these visions seem to have no end. I open my eyes to stop the spiritual connection. I’m getting tired and more frustrated with every minute that ticks by.
3:00 am, Thursday, April 4, 2013
This time I stop myself from sharing this vision with Trent. It’s now about 3:00 AM and he desperately needs some sleep. He has to work early in the morning and so far I have kept him up all night. I think I’m putting him through almost more than he can handle. My heart is aching for both of us. I lean over and give him a kiss and tell him that I’m heading downstairs to the kitchen to make myself a snack. I’m a little hungry and I remember the promise I made to the doctor earlier that day. I must try and eat 2000 calories a day until the weight I lost is back on.
I can’t seem to fall asleep without the constant interruptions of these waking visions so I might as well work at eating and hopefully regain some strength. With the fear of death on my doorstep I’m also looking at the situation like this: The longer I stay awake the longer I will live. I know this sounds crazy but after all that I have been shown through these visions, I’m pretty sure if I fall asleep right now I won’t wake up. Deep down inside I’m wishing that the nutritious snack I’m about to eat might aid in the healing of my broken body. With any luck it will help return me to my normal physical state. I can only pray that this is the case.
As I walk down the stairs to the main level I’m noticing how dark the night is. I have never been nervous in the night before but this night is more like a nightmare. Once again I get the feeling that I’m not alone; I know I’m being watched by some spiritual force. This presence is following me around and I haven’t figured out if I should be worried or not. I keep talking quietly to God and asking him for protection. I’m also asking him for more time on earth. I don’t want to leave this place yet. I do not fear death anymore; I just don’t want to leave my husband and children. I especially don’t want to leave my elderly parents; the pain of losing a child would pretty much kill them. They must not go through this in their lifetime.
I’ve also make a promise to God through my silent conversation over the past few hours. If I’m allowed to stay in this life I will do his work. I’m not exactly sure what that entails but I will figure it out as I go. I’m willing to promise anything right now; when death seems like the only answer a person will barter and plead for an alternative solution. I just need more time here. I don’t want any regrets of words not spoken or projects not completed on my deathbed.
(To be continued in Excerpt #8)
Ask, Listen and be Watchful,