Excerpt Post #2 : Volcanoes, Butterflies & Jesus – Shelley Zwingli
7:15 PM, Wednesday, April 3, 2013, Zwingli Farm, Melfort, Saskatchewan
I enter the house on the lower level and Trent greets me at the base of the first set of stairs in the basement. He gives me a warm kiss and hug. I share with him my concerns; he knows that I’m not the same person I was before my surgery. My whole being has shifted. I’m very worried about my future: Will I still be here tomorrow, or will I be in heaven?
Once again I share with Trent how my spirit left my body. My crossing over into heaven was an incredibly beautiful event. I wouldn’t trade what I have seen for anything on this planet. Trent and I hold each other and cry together. We realize just how fast our lives can change. I’m so thankful for his understanding. Many men would have thought I’d lost my mind, but Trent knows me better than that. Through the tears and the soft tone in my voice he knows my heavenly trip was exactly as I describe it, a life altering encounter with our loving Creator.
Back home, but not like it was before
Trent and I are a couple with similar spiritual beliefs and we know that trust is the foundation of our relationship. We are certain of each other’s credibility beyond a shadow of a doubt. He knows that I’m an honest person, and what I have experienced is as real as him standing right in front of me. I will always see him as trustworthy and rational. He knows to never doubt me in a critical situation, as I will only speak the truth.
Trent and I make our way upstairs to the kitchen. Earlier that day Branelle had made a fresh pot of homemade chicken soup. The three of us sit down in the dining room and enjoy our meal together. Nothing beats homemade cooking when you’re sick, and no one can make a pot of soup like our daughter Branelle. This is exactly what I have been craving for the last couple days.
It feels great to be back home. The three of us visit for a while after supper but as we discuss the weekly events both in and out of the hospital. I’m finding it very difficult to stay focused on the conversation. My mind keeps taking me back to what I had witnessed just a few hours ago. I’m finding it very hard to concentrate on anything other than that divine experience.
I keep pulling my thoughts back to their dialogue but I just can’t seem to hold my attention firmly on their discussion. I have never been so agitated in my life. I keep wondering, how long will this sensation last? It’s incredibly challenging to act normal when deep down inside I know that I’m teetering between life and death.
I get up from the dining table and ask Branelle if she would stay in the bathroom with me while I take a shower. I really don’t need any assistance once I’m in the shower but I don’t feel comfortable being in the bathroom by myself. In the course of the past week I have lost 12 pounds, I’m very weak and worried that I could slip and fall in the shower. I would love to have a bath but that to presents a problem; there is no way that I could get myself in and out of the tub without the help of a couple of people. The shower seems like the safest bet. I will feel safe knowing Branelle is right there, just in case I need her.
I’m still noticing that something has shifted in my physical and spiritual realm. It’s as though an awareness and clarity has opened up my vision to see physical objects totally different. My physical body is looking and feeling very mortal. I visually see the brokenness in my physical self. It’s as if I’m looking at my body for the first time and really noticing every detail that it holds with extreme definition. I have never noticed all the wrinkles on my hands before; my hands look very leathery and old. I’m shocked at how dark my freckles seem to be, they are jumping right out at me. I’m sure they’ve never looked like this in the past. Visibly to me my body has aged about 30 years in the past seven days. I feel as if I’m standing outside my body and that a part of my being has become a bystander. At this very moment I’m realizing my spiritual consciousness has been opened. My perception of the physical world has been altered and I’m not sure how to return to my normal state of reality.
This is a very beautiful awareness that I’m experiencing, but because it’s so far away from the normal state of consciousness it’s also extremely frightening. I keep hoping and praying that this will all settle down soon.
Ask, Listen and be Watchful