4:00 PM, Wednesday, April 3, 2013 – Victoria Hospital, Prince Albert, Saskatchewan
Branelle and I wait patiently for some news on my discharge. I share with her what had happened to me earlier that afternoon. The near death experience has shaken me up. The reality of what I saw has her concerned, too. Branelle knows that I would only speak the truth. I want to go home more than ever now, because if I’m still dying I don’t want to die in the hospital. I can’t share the near death experience with the staff because I believe they will never discharge me after hearing about my experience. They may even think that I’m mentally unstable, which I know I’m not.
The doctor walks into my room. He and the head nurse have decided to let me go home. He makes me promise that I will consume 2000 calories daily until my weight is back to normal. I want to go home to heal, so I give him my word. I thank him for all that he has done for me; he wishes me a speedy recovery. I hold back the tears as he walks out of the room. He’s an amazing doctor. I owe my life to him and his colleagues.
I call Trent to share my good news; he had just been leaving our house to head to Prince Albert to stay with me. Over the next 30 minutes Branelle and I gather up my belongings and pick up an antibiotic from the pharmacy and then we are homeward bound. What a great feeling! I’m silently hoping with any luck a good night’s sleep will help restore my body to its normal state.
Ever since I crossed over I’ve noticed my senses have been heightened. Upon leaving the hospital and going outside, this is even more noticeable. My sight has never been so clear, colors are extremely vibrant and objects are more defined than before my NDE. I almost feel as though I’ve had corrective eye surgery. This change in vision has me somewhat concerned about my future–my heightened awareness has me very nervous. My hearing has also changed; all noises seem to be intensely loud. On a scale from 1-10, with 1 being quiet and 10 being extremely loud, my scale has increased by about five points. This audible heightening is not enjoyable, I feel as though the people around me are almost yelling when they talk. I find myself turning down the volume on the car radio, even though Branelle says it’s not at all loud.
We are halfway home when our trip is interrupted by a phone call. Brennon has called me from Costa Rica and it‘s great to hear his voice. I share with him a very short version of my NDE, and tell him that I’ll share more detail with him when he returns from his holiday. I don’t want to alarm him.
Branelle now makes the final turn off the highway onto our gravel road. We are getting closer to home and I’m hoping that my release from the hospital was the right decision. I don’t want to discuss with her how I’m feeling. This heightened state of awareness has me panicking inwardly. I keep my thoughts to myself; I don’t want to cause her any extra stress.
As we head north down our country road I glance across the prairie landscape and wherever my eyes travel I get a very defined image. I’m witnessing a country scene that I’ve never really noticed before. I have lived down this country road for almost 30 years and today the hills, trees, and farmyards have more detail than I remember. In every direction I look I see things that I’ve missed in the past. I’m also noticing my entire body feels different. I feel as though a part of my body is missing, but in a good way– somewhat carefree, I have a floating sensation. I know that my body is still physically alive and grounded in this car seat but the rest of my being, along with my senses, seems to be weightless. The colors and scenery that I’m noticing are much more appealing than ever before. I’m enjoying the crisp hues that clothe this early spring landscape.
Once again I reach over and turn down the radio; I don’t want my thoughts to have to compete with this unnecessary noise. My body is wound up and it’s craving silence at this very moment. I think back to the experience that just happened a few hours ago. I begin to silently pray to God for some help and understanding. I’m pleading for a little more time here on Earth. As Branelle and I pull the car into our yard a thought enters my mind: Will I live through the night, or will God take me home? I know perfectly well that my body is not in a fully recovered state, and with my senses all on high alert I’m struggling to make sense of this mystifying body-soul experience. I know without a doubt that my soul has just returned from heaven and even though I have loved what I was shown I’m still very fearful of leaving my family behind if I am to pass away in the next few days.
Ask, Listen and be Watchful